How ridiculous it is when we keep whining about our fault. I mean we, ourself is the only one to blame.
I, my self don’t wanna sounded terribly ridic. Just because i’ve made many bad things, it doesnt mean that i’m knocked out. What iam trying to write here is how my self respond every little thing that just happened lately. Many bad things, awful maybe. I admit that one. Lets just get it straight.
Just because i’ve been wrote or done things nicely, doesnt make me become a great, perfect one or somebody. As you can see, i am just a girl next door whos trying to survive or make a live. People nowadays are considering one another when they really exist, you know, visible.Going to many different places, meet many different ppl and doing many things. Oh god, thats really exhausting. I might not as great as they could be, but hey i’ve been to that world. When you keep your self updated. One step ahead. Knows alot, talks alot, meet different faces everyday, everytime. Such a tiring day. Hectic but it always good enaugh for ya.
Those days ,when i am still known as “journo” gave me something called a real deal. All i did was interviewing, fitting in and getting used to many “awkward things”. That works, for someone who wants to find more, see more, demi more LOL. Remembering all of my past, all of the existence in crowded, just give me another headache now. WHY?
What if i didnt really enjoy being the part of that thing? What if i’m not get used to those kind of thing. What if i decided to build some commitment of my own? What if i wanna be invisible? *THATS ALOTTA WHAT IF. lol
Speaking of invicible, i, my self sometimes think about disappearing. I’ve had tru many things ya Rabb. Good things and awful sometimes. but i believe that leads me to a better world. Bad experience just sounded embarassing. But its not a big deal anyway. What matter is we absolutely dont wanna repeat the same mistake, which is am doing right now.
Preparation. Thats what i am talking about. Everythings got to be prepared. Well-prepared. Yeah, victory needs preparation. FYI I am writing these thing in the mid of the nite, 01.00 am. Well here is the dealio. I was a jerk. I was the only one to blame. Not saying that in any common but for me, for a muslimah like me, my recent life was kinda “slow” and “crushed”. I dont need anything like maybe you once said, a mate, male mate i mean. To make my life even brigther, full of love. I am happy now, my world is filled with affections and happiness. I eventually gonna marry someone, you know. Already saved the candidate, you know, my type. LOL
See, i already got the best sisters too. I made a great friends. Iam proud of ’em, most of ’em are girls cause you know i am not get used to making ‘close friend’ with boys. i like ’em, i love ’em. Its like i lost half of me when theyre not around.
Its just me. All of the distraction i took. That made me come up with one summary. I AM FRAGILE. You can see the outside of me that says “I AM TOTALLY FINE” but deep inside of me says the opposite of it. OK.Ok iam sucked. Quit making fun of me 🙂
Well, after all that been said and done, i do have a purpose living my life. A real deal, the same thing i once had before. The coming up real deal are finish college thing, graduating, got JI OU BE already. Well this one is embarassing too but gotta admit tht i wanna get married young if thats ok. If someone propose, i mean if he is one of my type and parents accept it, Gotta go for it ;). Amin
This writing has alotta thing to say. Its just not relieve enaugh. Maybe someday my husband will be the first to know (After Allah) all of my opinion, true story and stuff. Its just confusing writing this thing. Some ppl might thing iam showing off, try to look like a foreign. Gotta tell ya iam a foreign wannabe. More than that, iam an outsider wannabe.lol. Look, this city is sooooo small. I think i need a wider space to breathe. Another fresh air to breathe. It is also include my intention to see the beauty all over the world. IF you dont mind Rabb, thats my dream. Travelling is one of my wish (amin). It could be anywhere:)
Dont judge this writing. If you found any or lots of mistake, corrects me. People do change, rite? So no need to be hurry to make some bad statement. Stop all the hatred. Being nice is nice. Enjoy all of your gift and make a great living. Use all the potential that Allah gave you, fii sabilillah. Untill we finally will say ‘Hard work pay off”. Even it endless, just believe everything will be better in TIME. (BY SAYING THAT, I MIGHT SOUNDED LIKE A SMART PERSON NOW HAHA. OR MAYBE LIKE MARIO TEGUH.LOL) Anything but ordinary deh *wink*
NFH Signing Out :p